Things I Wish I Had Said, Part One

As I sat enjoying my lunch with my bitter coworkers, a complaint came up.

“Why are the students required to watch Obama’s address on television? That’s so stupid. You know that if this was a Republican president the kids wouldn’t be required to watch this address.” This comment was followed by chuckling, the adjustment of monocles, a few online trades of oil company stock, and the extinction of several endangered species.

In retrospect, I should have told them the truth. They were right. If our president was Republican, the children wouldn’t have to watch his address. This is because children are afraid of Republicans, and we try to foster a safe environment in the schools. The only Republican I can think of that children don’t fear is Count Chocula, and he only makes an appearance around Halloween.

I understand these are trying times. I understand that we are a nation divided. But one of these days, I’m confident that children and adults alike, Democrat or Republican, Christian or Muslim, Mexican or American, will be able to enjoy Count Chocula together in harmony.

How Not to be a Douche: Step One

I've listened to a lot of criticism of Barack Obama. That's to be expected. He's a politician, and no politician in history has been able to please all of the people all of the time.

The most common criticism I've heard is about his promises. He's promised to do things he hasn't done yet. But when you've got to fix the amount of devastation he's been left with, you've got to prioritize.

There is one thing, however, that really bothered me. A large amount of people were upset that Barack Obama isn't taking a strong stance on Iran. Some of these people are upset for political reasons, but it's the people who are upset about this for humanitarian reasons who got me upset.

The unfortunate part of a republic is that we elect people we think will represent us to make decisions for us. That doesn't always happen the way we want. Some things are beyond our control.

But people often complain about things they have control over.

If I have to hear one more person compain about America not being involved in humanitarian aide in other countries, I'm going to kick a puppy. I am going to KICK... a puppy.

There are dozens of organizations that exist for this very reason (humanitarian aide, not kicking puppies). We have the Red Cross, Amnesty, and Oxfam to name a few. These organizations thrive on volunteer work and donations and they do a lot of good. All anyone has to do is go to a website for one of these organizations to find out what they can do.

What I'm trying to say is stop bitching about the world not changing, because you can start changing the world by yourself.