Bear with me for a second.
The ancient Sumerian story of Nibiru is similar to the story of Stargate. An alien race enslaves humans, they rebel, and the alien race flees. This is a nutshell version of both of these stories as well as most of the relationships I've been in.
The Mayans designed their calendar to not only show years but complete galaxy rotations.
Then I got thinking. Even though I'm in the camp of people who think Apocalypse 2012 is a joke, I couldn't help but wonder if the Mayan belief of a galaxy rotation was actually based on the return cycle of Nibiru.
And then it hit me. Here I am preparing myself for monsoon season when I should be preparing myself for the enslavement of humanity.
Sure I keep bottled water, canned goods, and plutonium around the house like everyone else. But what would happen if something simple yet significant were taken from us? If electricity were somehow removed from civilization we'd all be screwed. Raise your hand if you know how to hunt and forage. Now, those of you that THINK you know how to hunt and forage but have never done it put your hands down.
Here's what I'm really getting at: In the last hundred years, in the blink of an eye in the history of humans, we've forgotten how to do all the things that have allowed us to evolve to the top of the food chain.
"So what's the solution?" you ask. "Should we all take survival courses? Should we invest in alternative energy sources? Should we stock up on Capri Sun?"
And to your suggestions I laugh. Condescendingly.
With just a few good years left before civilization collapses, I propose we do all of these things. We should definitely invest in alternative energy... to power giant robots that will get all of our food for us and protect us from alien races. We will enroll them in survival courses and reward their efforts with Capri Sun. While the alien race/giant robot battle rages on outside, we can take comfort in knowing that our ethanol-powered I-pods just finished downloading the entire second season of The Real Housewives of Alpha Centauri.
