Ladies and gentlemen, it blows my mind every time I hear someone say, "Organic food? Eew." What the expletive deleted do people think organic food is? Now, I know that you, the reader, know exactly what organic food is. I know you're not an idot like the average douche on the street. I'll spare you the rant about the all natural food our ancestors had been eating for tens of thousands of years. I'll even spare you the large amounts of swear words I like to include in my so-called "angry blogs". All I want to say about people who dismiss the idea of organic food as "gross" or "nasty" or even "from the ass of Satan himself" is this:
I'm envious.
I'm envious because I want to devour so many preservatives that a museum will be able to stand my dead body up for decades before it begins to decay.
When I'm buried I'll be so full of chemicals that I'll reanimate all of the corpses around me. Then the reanimated corpses in question will reign terror upon earth. This reign of terror will later be documented on the evening news and replayed at least once a week for the next seven years and fit into every History Channel special like the September 11 attacks.
It would be wonderful to think that even in death I'm doing something for the world.
2 comments:
You're so funny! I love that you edited (for all your Mormon readers). :)
Are you still at the same school? I had heard through the grapevine that maybe you didn't love it there.
Did you know that Kate's having a baby in December?
Are you still engaged?
Post a Comment