Shocked by the news that Sarah Palin is resigning from her position as Alaska governor, I ran some scenarios over in my head (because choosing to share these ideas in an actual conversation with someone would be a complete waste of time).
My first thought was the publicity. She's got a camera up in her shit all the time now. I suppose that's the price of celebrity.
My second thought (fear) was that she's preparing herself for the 2012 presidency.
So dressed as a caribou, I spent all last week following Sarah Palin to find the truth. And here's what I found.
1. Caribou suits have poor visibility and attract hunters.
2. Sarah Palin spends most of her time in an abandoned warehouse roughing people up tied to chairs.
3. She spends her evenings in the forest with a ouija board, an old blind man, and a virgin.
4. She drinks what appears to be the blood of the innocent, although it could be syrah.
It's obvious what's happening here. Resignation, intimidation, secret meetings, blood orgies... she's going back to school to become a kindergarten teacher.
1 comment:
I would like to comment, but where would I begin? Your posts are "uncommentable".
Post a Comment