I was in a training class a few weeks ago when a woman's cell phone goes off. She picks it up while the instructor is still talking to the class. "Hello?" she says. "I... I can't talk right now. No, I can't talk right... clothes? No, just throw them in the dryer. The dryer. The dry... listen, I can't talk right now. Yes, she called and said she had a recital tomorrow. A recital. Recital. Look, I can't talk right now. I'm in a training class. I'll talk to you... a ham? Sure, I can pick one up. Avatar? Yes, I loved it! Wouldn't you love to live in a world with floating islands like that? Holy shit, I know! James Cameron is a fucking genius! Hey, I'm in a training class, I can't talk right now."
The person who picks up a phone just to say 'I can't talk right now' ranks number two on my list of annoying cell phone habits. Number one is the person who lets 'Poker Face' play through the entire chorus at 3,000 decibels while they grab the phone out of their purse, examine the incoming phone number like they're deciphering hieroglyphics, tell the people at their table that it's Heather, and put it back in their purse without ever hitting the extremely easy-to-find silence button.
I do, however, believe that someday soon people will stop doing things like texting while they’re confessing to their priest, checking their Facebook status while driving through a school zone, or having a conversation on their phone about stock trades while checking out at Food City. It's just that I think that day will have to begin with a meteor crashing into the earth.
"Can you hear me? I'm getting really shitty reception next to this crater... Hello? Look, I can't talk right now..."
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