Dear God,
I wasn't sure if this letter should be business format or friendly format. It is, after all, my first time writing to a deity if you don't count the letter I sent to Poseidon after Hurricane Katrina. Perhaps for my first request you could let me know how I should format letters to you in the future.
I've decided that e-mail might be the best way to contact you. I tried to text message you a few weeks ago, but I may have accidentally sent it to my friend Gary whose name is near yours in my list of contacts. I've also become aware of the possibility that my prayers may not be penetrating the vast amounts of radio waves in the atmosphere.
I'm writing to you today because my friend and I were having a philosophical debate that I was hoping you could clarify. My friend says that there are seven colors in the rainbow while I say there are only six. Who the hell really looks at a rainbow and says, "What a lovely shade of indigo"? Who goes to Home Depot to ask for a paint that is an exact match for the indigo which appears in rainbows? Even a leprechaun defending his fabled pot of gold could tell you that there is no indigo. There are three primary colors and the three secondary colors which fit nicely inbetween them to create a circle of monochromatic harmony. Everyone knows that indigo is a tertiary color. A solitary tertiary color among several primary and secondary colors disrupts circles and creates polygons.
I know that you are very busy helping football teams win games, appearing in loaves of bread in Mexico, and trying to discourage people from killing in your name, but I hope you find time to answer my question. TTYL.
Phil
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