Humans are the Bees' Knees

We humans think we're pretty impressive.

We've sent men to the moon, split atoms, and created jelly beans that taste just like fingernails.

We feel pretty confident that if an alien race were to visit Earth we would be the first living thing they would want to make contact with. But what if as soon as the hatch of their flying saucers opened up, our people ran to the alien creatures to barrage them with questions and Mexican blankets only to be silenced?

"Hey, we appreciate the warm welcome, humans, but we're actually here for the honey badgers."

We tend to think we're the most advanced and intelligent lifeform on this planet, but it's on a human scale. I'm sure every lifeform thinks it's the most important one. Sure, we were probably all awe struck when the first airplane took flight, but I'm pretty sure the other millions of other lifeforms on the planet didn't notice (except for the migrating geese that found it more of an annoyance). To me, that represents complete and utter insignificance.

Let's imagine for a moment that a bee wasted its valuable time learning English and was able to have a discussion with a human.

Bee: "What'd you do today?"

Human: "Well, I drove my polluting Lexus to work where I then made sales calls from my iPhone 4 to people who probably don't really need to have what I'm selling. Then they bought it with the money they made from their job because they feel they need to spend money on possessions that will clutter their house until they die. Then their family will throw it all away or sell to someone else and the cycle will repeat itself. What did you do today?"

Bee: "I left my colony, in which we all do equal parts and don't pay a dime, to fly around the air all day and stop to suckle nectar from the occasional flower and spread pollen in order to pollinate other plants in the area. Then I made honey and slept like a baby that had slipped into a bee-sting-induced coma."

Human: "Are you accepting applications?"

Bee: "I'm afraid we're looking for someone with a different skill set."