Deer in the Headlights

We all know how I feel about phone etiquette.

So there isn't any reason to create another blog about them, is there?

Of course there is. Don't be ridiculous.

In my profession, I have to call people all day. Some of these people want to talk to me, and some of them don't. And if a person tells me, "I don't want to talk to you," I smile and I thank them for being honest with me, type happy notes into my computer, and draw unicorns shooting rainbows from their eyes on their file.

It's only when people lie to me that I get upset.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Phil calling you from..."

"Oh, um, I can't talk right now."

"That's okay. I'm sure there are many situations in which you have only enough time to answer your phone, but not enough time to talk on it."

"Excuse me?"

"No time for questions. You'd better get going."

Then there are people who just hang up their phones when I call. This is a disappointing scenario since I'm not given enough time to say something sarcastic.

Unless I call them back.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I think we have a bad connection. I'm looking for..." And then I hang up the phone. And call back again.

"Hello?"

"Ha ha! I guess the problem's on my end! We just got a system update and..." I hang up again and call back.

"Helloooooo?"

"Boy, what is going on today? This is so unprofess..." And I hang up once more.

Eventually they stop answering their phone, so I do the same thing to their voicemail for awhile. Then I'll pretend I forgot how to use a phone and start dialing numbers during the message and accientally transfer them to one of the departments that never returns my calls.