"win kim kardashian's cardigan!"
this was what myspace was announcing as i was signing in to see how the three fans of my music were doing today.
i wondered how many other people were reading that and gasping, "WHAT?!" texting, "OMG!" and rushing to the toilet with a feather down their throat to make themselves small enough to fit into it.
every time i'm checking out at the grocery store i see magazine covers that let me know that couples i've never heard of are breaking up. television stars i've never seen are having children. and the sexiest man alive is no longer roger moore.
who are these people? i can't even keep track of the six friends i have.
do these publications exist because so many of us love celebrities or hate them? and if it's hate, does that hate come from jealousy? why do we pay so much attention to who is adopting african children and not pay attention to why african children have to be adopted in the first place?
well let me tell you why.
it has been kept a secret for thousands of years by numerous secret societies. african children are not being adpoted by celebrities. they are being harvested. it is believed that african children taste just like strawberry pop tarts.
but i digress.
my point is this: if you're a celebrity and your life is coming between me and a snickers bar at the impulse section of the grocery store, do something incredible with your money and fame so that your name shows up on a list of pulitzer prize nominations instead of us weekly.
then make sure you recommend me for the peace i've brought the human race with robiotic.blogspot.com.
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