Kurt Cobain: Still Dead

It was hard to not like Nirvana in the nineties.

They wore torn clothing, yelled, destroyed their instruments, and did everything that hair rock didn't.

Oh wait, that was EVERY NEW WAVE BAND THAT CAME OUT IN THE LATE EIGHTIES.

Don't get me wrong, I really used to like Nirvana. But it's hard to continue to like Nirvana when every music magazine and every rock countdown special puts them on a pedestal like they cured cancer.

"They did, Phil. They cured the cancer... that was pop music."

No they didn't! They just made a pre-existing genre of music more accessible.

"That may be. But by popularizing that sound, they inspired other bands to do the same!"

Like which bands? The Spin Doctors? Third Eye Blind? Yeah, that's a regular revolution. My God! What would we do without such musical geniuses as Third Eye Blind?!

Here's the problem. 'Nevermind' came out in 1991. Before 1991, hair rock and pop music dominated the music market. After 1991, it was alternative rock. Therefore, Nirvana must have singlehandedly changed the face of rock music for the entire decade. Someone must have come from the future in a phone booth to help them save the world.

So what about those albums that Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, Primus, Temple of the Dog, and Red Hot Chili Peppers released that same year? Or the Fugazi album the year before that? Don't think about them. I'm sure they had nothing to do with shaping 90's rock. Shh. Ssssshhhhhhhhhh. Those bands can't hurt you. Nirvana's here to protect you.