"There are signs that the economy is on the upswing". At least, that's what I hear from my fortune cookie. It's strange when your food knows more about financial news than you do.
It gave me an idea.
I took my financial adviser out to lunch to discuss my investments and planted messages in his fortune cookie (i.e. "Your customers are going to kill you if you don't pull their money out of AIG and GMC" and the more obvious, "What were you thinking?") He asked me about the messages, but I calmly stated that my fortunes said I will be coming into a large fortune. He then asked why his fortunes appeared to be written in the same ink I just used to sign my credit card receipt. I chuckled and replied that many inks look alike.
He went on to tell me that my "coming into a large fortune" probably won't be happening any time soon. I simply told him that it's already happened. While I was treating him to Panda Express my evil henchmen were robbing his office. "Now if you'll excuse me I must be off," I announced and dramatically pulled my cape around my body. Then I turned into one hundred bats and flew back to my castle in the hills.
Phil 1, Big Business 0.
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