it's not a choice for most of us. they come knocking at your door, they show you their brochure, and before you know it you're eating your neighbor's larnyx like a churro. you get a company car, you go to the company cook-outs, but at times when you accidentally bite into something electrical and it stimulates part of your decaying brain you can help but think, "is this really me?"
the answer is no.
while there is no cure as of yet, there are ways to control your affliction and slow the process. many people don't realize they've become zombies at first. look for these warning signs:
- uncontrollable shivering
- excessive clotting of the blood
- a new found taste for human flesh
- interest in voting for a third party candidate
- charlie horse in places you shouldn't get charlie horse (i.e. eyelids)
- weakening libido
- a strengthening scent of almonds when you're alone in a room
if you or anyone you know exhibits these symptoms, separate the head from the body.
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